I need to start this post by saying that I have absolutely no interest in competing with others on stage at this point in time and I have a lot to learn about myself before I even consider doing a show…
Ok, I have a philosophy that may sound crazy, but I’m going to say it anyway. I look down at myself and all I see is a skinny, pale white boy. I walk past a mirror and see the same as what I just described. It isn’t until I am in the gym training or looking at pictures which we have took, which I then see progress and feel proud of where I am and what I have accomplished through joy and passion.
I have never found it a chore to go to the gym and lift weights, but my diet is another thing. It’s very easy and rewarding when I have a relaxed diet and casually eat what I want, whilst trying to lift heavier at the gym. The challenge for me is eating clean and discovering a diet that works for me specifically and something that I can cope with, as-well-as allowing me to work towards my goals.
I seem to have developed a system which allows me to separate my mind from my body. Or to put it another way, my mind is much stronger than my body. I feel that I have almost full control over what I eat, drink, crave and how I train. It’s harder to explain on here just now, but over time I will be able to explain it to others.
My diet is very basic at the moment and it has been for the 2 weeks which I have been on it. I have lost fat, but not strength. I certainly haven’t got any stronger, but compared to how I cut last year and how I have a steady diet now, there is simply no comparison with what I have discovered with my body and what I need to do to reach my goals.
Why don’t I want to compete?
I don’t feel the need to. As arrogant as it sounds, I am in a very happy place right now and I would never had dreamt I could have got to this stage. I have a lot that I want to do with myself and I find that my motivation comes from looking back at how I was and the fact that people laughed at me when I got to a stage where I could see changes, but I still looks terrible compared to what is expected from the sport.
People need to understand that everyone starts from the beginning. It doesn’t matter what level of the sport folk are at, all that matters is people are happy. I keep this specific to health and fitness/bodybuilding etc. If your very happy sitting in the pub and eating tasty food then I know you wont be here reading this. I used to live for that lifestyle and absolutely loved it!!!
To have full control over my body. I almost feel that if I want to lose fat and seriously want to in my head, no matter what happens, I will lose fat as my body will simply listen to my mind and follow it. It sounds really crazy what I’m saying and I have stopped myself from talking about it for some time, but I feel that I have hit a point where I’m comfortable to explain myself.
Just like someone would modify a car with spoilers, vents, tuned engine, new clean interior and so on, this is how I picture my body with my mind. I can do what I want to it if I really want to.
Just before I make myself sound crazy, I still have a very long way to go to where I desire to be. I can’t get to where I want to be naturally, but I am prepared to push myself and try anyway. I don’t want this post to come across in any other way, other than what I’m learning and discovering with my own body.
These pictures are just random with no preparation after training chest, delts and triceps…
All my supplements are DY Nutrition and I have see some great gains with my body since I started using them correctly. Clearly I swear down by them and will do a post on them very soon!
As I have a huge log of photos from set times of my journey, I have them to look back on and see where I am going…
The photo on the left was after my first real attempt of cutting. My strength was quite down/poor. The picture on the right is what I hope to maintain and maybe even build some muscle with. I’m still feeling strong in the gym and even beating some of my old personal best records as I have found my own diet that allows me to do so…
May 2014 now
- 30kg hack squat 120kg
- 60kg rows 120kg
- 160kg leg press 400kg
- 80kg front squat machine 200kg
- 30kg x 6 incline dumbells 42.5kg x 8
The part that I find difficult to understand is the fact that I am leaner, and weight less than I did back then. Anyway, I’m just going to carry on and do what I enjoy…!
Just one last thing, I train with my wife…